Kodėl draugai nuo manęs nusisuka?



Sveikutės,

Štai aš ir vėl vaidenuosi. Atlikau visus namų darbus ir atsirado laisva minutė. Kadangi dažnai manęs čia nesimato, tai nusprendžiau parašyti straipsnį apie draugystę, kuri mano manymų turėtu dominuoti mums visoms.


Tema tokia: Draugai nuo manęs nusisuka.
Ir tikriausiai pirmasis klausimas šovęs Jums į galvą, tai būtent, kodėl? Kodėl draugai gali nuo manęs nusisukti? Kas Jiems pasidarė? Ką aš padariau?

Pradėsim nuo to, ar nenutiko kokių barnių ar pykčių pastaruoju metu? Gal nenorėdama įskaudinai draugę?
1.Kartais gyvenime pasitaiko tokių dalykų, kad kalbėdama, reikšdama savo nuomonę, netyčia įžeidi draugę. Gal norėdama pakomentuoti jos aprangą ir pabrėždama netinkančias detales ją įskaudinai?
Draugės – tai lyg naujas telefonas, kuriam neuždėjus plėvelės gali greitai įbrėžti.
 
Problemos sprendimas: dažnai tai būna lengvas įžeidimas, tačiau jeigu matai, kad draugė susiraukė arba „surūgsta“ nedvejuok ir atsiprašyk, kartais maži įžeidimai įvykstantys dažnai gali iššaukti draugės nusisukimą.






2. Esi per daug įkyri.
Na kartais mes labai norime bendrauti, kad mūsų neatstumtų, nepavestų ir visada būtų šalia kai reikia, tačiau kartais bendraudamos „perlipame ribas“. Na pavyzždžiui rašai draugei žinutes kas penkias minutes, skambini pasitaikius bene kiekvienai minutei ir matai, kad draugė ne labiausiai nori su tavimi šnekėtis.
Problemos sprendimas: Galbūt „pristabdyk arklius“ ir užsiimk kokia veikla, kol draugė pati parašys ar bus praėję daug laiko. Svarbiausia niekada nekišti savo draugiškumo per daug, nes tada draugėms gali pasidaryti nemalonu.

3. Padlaižiavimas
Tai baisus dalykas! Mano manymų padlaižiauja tik tie žmonės kurie neturi savimi pasitikėjimo ir bando įtikti kitiems neturėdami savo nuomonės. Mergyt, tu turi turėti savo nuomonę! Jeigu tai patinka Ilonai, nebūtinai patiks ir tau, o draugiškumo nepelnysi savos nuomonės neturėdama, kaip tik – pasidarys nuobodu.
Problemos sprendimas: nebijok reikšti ir savos nuomonės. Visą laiką sutikdama su kitais ir jiems pritardama, busi gana nuobodi asmenybė.

4. Šiurkštumas ir juokeliai ne laiku ir ne vietoje.
Tai labai svarbu! Kartais draugę pavadindama „durnele“, ji gali ne visada priimti tai kaip šmaikštavimą. Ką jau kalbėti apie dar „gražesnius“ žodžius. Ne visoms draugėms taip patinka, nes galbūt jos jautresnės ir priėma tai kaip tikrą. Na, o „svaidant“ juokelius ne vietoje ir ne laiku, na pavyzdžiui draugės ne  nuotaikoj ir pasakius kokį kvailą juokelį, gali dar labiau jas supykdyti, nes jos gali pamanyti, kad nesupranti kaip jai dabar sunku ir labiau prašo tavo prijautimo, o ne kvailų juokelių.
Problemos sprendimas: „durneles“, „kvaišeles“ ir kitokius žodžius pasilaikyk itin juokingomis progomis, kai draugės yra linksmos ir nepriims tai kaip už tikrą, o juokelius taip pat nutaikyk – kai matysi draugę linksmą ar bent jau ne depresuojančią.


5.Neskiri laiko
Kartais atrodo, kad viskas tirpsta rankose ir niekur nesuspėji, tačiau jeigu tave kviečiasi kažkur išeiti, o tu geriau pavėpsosi televizorių ar pratupėsi prie facebooko, gali kitą syki kvietimo išeiti ir nebe sulaukti.
Problemos sprendimas: Jeigu matai, kad tave kažkur kviečiasi išeiti, reiškia jie nori su tavimi pabūti. O jeigu tikrai nesuspėji, tai pasiūlyk jiems susitikti kokią dieną kai būsi laisva ir perspėti, kad kitomis dienomis būsi užsiėmusi. Taip draugai žinos, kad tu nori būti su jais.

6. Draugai tavęs neverti
Jeigu matai, kad draugės vieną dieną būna su tavimi, o kitą dieną jau kalba už akių tai žinok – visai čia ne draugai, nes jie nesugeba vertinti ko turi. Geriau apsižvalgyk ir susirask naujų draugų, kurie tave vertins, mėgs ir priims kokia tu bebūtum. O jeigu iškelia tau ultimatumą, na pavyzdžiui „rūkyk, arba būsi atstumta“ tai geriau iš vis su tokiais nesusidurti, niekada nedaryk to kas yra tau prieš valia. Su draugais turi jaustis laisva ir linksma -, o ne sukaustyta ir bijodama ką pasakyti ne taip. Ir tikrai nebūtina keisti savo išvaizdos, kad draugės su tavimi labiau bendrautų, - nes dažniausiai viskas priklauso nuo tavo elgesio. Mielosios, Jūs esate gražios tokios kokios esate ir būsite dar gražesnės – jeigu elgsitės gražiai iš vidaus :)

Kartais pastebiu, kad parašyti straipsnį man reikia "gero spyrio į užpakalį", na žinoma, manau visoms pasitaiko tokių "krizių". Iš vis nespėjau mirktelėti - o jau baigėsi vasaris...

Būkit sveikos ir laimingos :)
Sėkmės
Kristina

 

29 PAKOMENTAVO

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